Perfection

In today's society there is a constant striving for perfection.  Perfect body, perfect hair, perfect job, perfect family, perfect marriage, perfect car, perfect house, etc.  The list could go on forever.  I believe this need/desire for perfection hits girls and women in our society the hardest.  We are surrounded by pictures, videos, classmates, etc that portray perfection.  When we compare ourselves we always find some area in which we fall short.  We're not skinny enough, white enough, dark enough, hair not blonde enough, brunette enough, athletic enough.  This is something I struggle with daily, bringing to God in prayer.

Yesterday was one of those days that I sought help from God on this very issue.  Then of course as we are faithful to cast our cares upon Him the devil is just as faithful to listen and attack our weaknesses.  Kevin and I went on a hike yesterday and it hit me.  You wouldn't think a group of sweaty hikers would cause my insecurities to rise, but it did.  There were a tone of women that didn't have one ounce of body fat on them, fit, trim, and not even out of breath.  While here I was gasping as if I was to keel over at any minute, with sweat pouring out of every pore, and extremely self-conscious.  We finished the hike, went to our own homes, and went about the rest of my day.  Yet these feelings of insecurity stuck with me for the remainder of the day!

Finally, as Kevin and I were about to head home later in the day from our various wedding errands it all poured out.  It is soooo hard for me to admit weaknesses in my life to anyone.  As I want to appear strong and everything is just fine.  Yet many times it is when we allow ourselves to open up to those around us that God is really able to speak or minister to our bruised hearts.  We may bring our concerns and worries to God in personal prayer yet He will surprise us with the way He answers.  In this situation He answered through the kind words and advice of my amazing fiance!  I am thankful for the man of God that He has given me.  As Kevin says, "we're good for each other." :) I thank God for the men and women that He has placed in my life that are able to speak words of wisdom into my life.  Many times it is the words that are spoken by those people that form the string that keeps this balloon from taking off into the atmosphere.    The insecurities are not gone, but now I have the words of wise men and women to bring to remembrance when they start raising their ugly heads.  Ultimately holding them at bay.  Prayer, God's word, and Godly men and women surrounding me reenforces my cardboard-like shield called self-confidence.

Note to all my friends that are holding Kevin and I accountable: all time spent together was in a public place with a TON of people around. ;)

Oh and by the way... 33 days until our big day!!!! :)